


Tonight, Tonight

by cestlavieminako



Series: First Kisses [8]
Category: Kamen Rider Kuuga
Genre: First Kisses, M/M, mmmm that episode 35 angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-04
Updated: 2020-07-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:08:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25064434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cestlavieminako/pseuds/cestlavieminako
Summary: Godai defeats Number 42, but his ferocity in battle and the glimpse of seeing what he could become, have him craving some very human comforts.
Relationships: Godai Yuusuke/Ichijou Kaoru
Series: First Kisses [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1803661
Comments: 5
Kudos: 17





	Tonight, Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> Episode 35 always, ALWAYS hits me hard, because if Godai weren't Godai--if he weren't as strong and selfless as he is--he could have so easily lost himself right then. That small glimpse of the fearsome warrior he could become is always chilling, no matter how many times I've watched the series. It's such a good moment in the series because it's really shocking and a little uncomfortable to see Godai reacting so drastically in a fight. And the way he just stood there at the end, like he knew he was on the cusp of a very big change, if he took a step in the wrong direction...like I said, chilling.
> 
> Sorry, I'm a little tipsy and I'm having EMOTIONS here. But yeah, this takes place at the end of/after episode 35. I started brainstorming this after I finished the episode earlier.

Something about the way Godai was standing so motionless after Number 42 had been defeated sent a shot of anxiety through Ichijou’s body. He knew the creature’s callous way of murdering high school students hadn’t sat well with Godai, and he’d said how much he hated it. 

Ichijou knew he’d meant the helplessness, the sickening feeling that another family had lost someone dear to them, no matter how hard they’d tried to protect them. Godai had asked him how he dealt with things like this, since surely this wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, something so unnecessary and brutally horrifying. Ichijou had told him, “It’s not something you can get used to. You just have to soldier through it, and do everything in your power to try and keep it from happening again. If it ever stops affecting you, then you just aren’t human anymore.”

The way Kuuga had tackled Number 42 through the window and immediately started pummeling him so viciously had…not been something he would have associated with Godai before now. But he could tell that Godai was refusing to give the creature a moment to think, to act, where it would try to escape.

He couldn’t believe the battle had ended by the time he and the other officers arrived on the scene. And it was definitely over, as he could tell from the smoke that hung heavy in the air, the grass that was burnt at the edge of the road.

And Godai stood in the midst of it.

It took a few moments, and Ichijou was about to call out to him, but then Godai slowly began to turn, and even through the smoky haze, Ichijou could tell that he was not all right. There was no smile, no thumbs up. 

That was the first time Godai Yusuke looked as though the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

Ichijou had begged off of helping to file reports, wanting to get Godai back to his apartment, somehow not wanting to leave him alone right at the moment. But Sakurai and Sugita had been there, seen how Godai had reacted, and even though they were still newer acquaintances, they too seemed to think that Godai didn’t look well. They’d waved Ichijou off, assuring him that the Beat Chaser would be delivered back to the station, and he’d given a quick bow of thanks, before loading Godai into his cruiser.

Godai still looked shellshocked when they arrived at Ichijou’s apartment, but he followed Ichijou inside without much prompting.

Once they were indoors, shoes left by the door, Ichijou walked into the living room, not sure what to do next. Perhaps he should call Tsubaki…

Then Godai was in his arms, and their lips met. Godai kissed him hungrily, his arms sliding around Ichijou’s waist, drawing him as close as he possibly could.

When they finally parted, Godai continued to cling to Ichijou, his forehead leaning on his shoulder. “Ichijou-san…Kaoru…please.”

The sudden use of his first name startled Ichijou, but he wrapped his arms around Godai, rubbing his back gently. “Anything I can do for you, Yusuke. Just name it.”

Godai drew back slightly, meeting his gaze. “I need you…I want you inside me.”

Ichijou drew in a surprised breath. That would be a first…and he wasn’t sure how confident he felt in himself as far as being on top was concerned.

“Please, Kaoru. That’ll help me feel human.” Godai pressed his face into Ichijou’s shoulder again. “I feel like I came so close to losing myself today. I need something to make me feel like _me_.”

“I just don’t want to disappoint you,” Ichijou murmured.

Godai met his gaze once again. “Never, Kaoru. You’ll _never_ disappoint me.”

Their fingers threaded together, and they kissed one another, slowly and thoroughly, and Ichijou tried to calm his pounding heart. He’d meant it—anything he could do for Godai, he would do it, happily. 

He loved him, and he was willing to give it a try.

Godai had made everything seem so effortless, the time they’d made love, but Ichijou felt clumsy, as though he were doing everything wrong. Godai whispered encouragement to him, quietly guiding him along, letting him know when something felt good.

And when Ichijou slid inside him, watching Godai’s head fall back, hearing the soft moan of pleasure that left his lips, he couldn’t help but smile. 

Later, Godai curled up in his embrace, pressing ticklish kisses to Ichijou’s neck, his jaw, before moving to his lips. “Thank you,” he murmured, his voice barely audible. “I feel like you saved me tonight.”

Ichijou blushed, wanting to protest such heartfelt words, not feeling that he deserved them, but Godai’s finger pressed against his lips, and he decided to keep the thoughts to himself. He couldn’t help but feel insecure at times, and surely this was one of those times.

But with Godai in his arms, warm and drifting off to sleep, Ichijou managed to brush aside the insecurity, and fell into a contented slumber.

And the next morning, when he woke to a smiling Godai, incredible smells coming from the tray he carried, containing their coffee and breakfast, he knew he had made a difference.


End file.
